Pecola and I are alike. We both share something in common, our feelings of inadequacy. No, I am not going to argue that I have it nearly as bad her. Truth be told, you'll be hard pressed to find someone as damaged as her. But, this emotion that we share stems from none other than ourselves. Our own self-hatred; our own self-loathing. The difference, however, between our desires is that one is physically impossible to obtain, while the other is attainable through hard work and dedication. So, even when given the opportunity, a golden opportunity for change, I do nothing. Pecola, on the other hand, is hopeful. She prays and seeks help. I procrastinate, laze around, and make excuses. Disgusting. I have been presented with the American Dream and what do I do with it? Throw it away. Opportunities some have never even had, right in front of me, and as each day passes, another door closes.
The thing is, I don't have any right to complain. At all. I've been given the tools, the skills, and the knowledge to make changes. There is nobody trying to restrict me from doing so. No society has turned their back on me. I am not deserving of pity. To see someone such as Pecola and then to see myself. It sickens me. I, who have wasted multiple opportunities, cannot even begin to compare to her. Why am I the one to live such a carefree lifestyle? Why am I the one with all the opportunities? These should have been Pecola's, not mine.
"All the waste and beauty of the world—which is what she herself was. All of our waste which we dumped on her and which she absorbed. And all of our beauty, which was hers first and which she gave to us."
All of these serve as a reminder as to why I am grateful. Grateful for my friends, teachers, family, and all who truly care about me. For if I had grown up in Pecola's shoes, I could not have lived. I could not have withstood such a society. I would've broken immediately. If The Bluest Eye has taught me anything, it is that I am blessed to be who I am. To live in such a place here and now, is more than I could've asked for. I am lucky. To be here, sitting in a chair typing this...To have people care about what I think and care about who I am. I have so much to be thankful for.
No comments:
Post a Comment