The Hidden Side

              I love stories that bring up characters that have a hidden side/motivations. It's even better when these characters are portrayed in such a way that makes them seem cunning or manipulative. For these two reasons alone I was absorbed by the first five chapters of The Great Gatsby. The story consists of many characters that fit these two qualities. They have an artificial outward appearance and choose to hide themselves deep inside. In doing so, however, the characters use lies. Mr. Gatsby, for example, seems to have grown up in the "Middle West" of San Francisco; Jordan Baker seems to have changed the minds of witnesses. Even Nick, who seems to be the most honest character in the novel, uses manipulative words. Gatsby, however, is the most notable character for this trait with his vast connections and use of others. Although he puts up a front that seems genuine and trustworthy, his relations with others just serve to further his own means. This can be  seen with Nick. Gatsby befriends Nick because of one reason: his present relations with Daisy. Ultimately, however, one can see Gatsby's change in nature once he achieves his purpose. He loses interest in Nick after being reintroduced. Nick is simply a tool at Gatsby's disposal.

"They had forgotten me, but Daisy glanced up and held out her hand; Gatsby didn't know me now at all... I went out of the room and down the marble steps into the rain, leaving them there together."

              Even early on, however, we can see that Gatsby is not as flawless as when he first appeared. He makes mistakes when lying, and occasionally fails to hide his emotions. He slips up the most after being reunited with Daisy. When Nick asks what business he's involved in, Gatsby, not thinking, tells Nick that it's "[his own] affair". He is unsure of what to do when Daisy enters; he "reevaluates" himself and his possessions when touring, and nearly "topples down a flight of stairs". These instances demonstrate the persona that Gatsby has spent the last several years creating: one of grand wealth and importance. He believes that such a thing is essential for him to win over Daisy. In doing so, however, he lies. He hides his genuine personality. He uses others. He involves himself with scandalous people and activities. He sacrifices his own past and his own identity. To finally achieve his dream of being with Daisy, Gatsby destroys himself. 

I Just Wanted To Say...

                  Pecola and I are alike. We both share something in common, our feelings of inadequacy. No, I am not going to argue that I have it nearly as bad her. Truth be told, you'll be hard pressed to find someone as damaged as her. But, this emotion that we share stems from none other than ourselves. Our own self-hatred; our own self-loathing. The difference, however, between our desires is that one is physically impossible to obtain, while the other is attainable through hard work and dedication. So, even when given the opportunity, a golden opportunity for change, I do nothing. Pecola, on the other hand, is hopeful. She prays and seeks help. I procrastinate, laze around, and make excuses. Disgusting. I have been presented with the American Dream and what do I do with it? Throw it away. Opportunities some have never even had, right in front of me, and as each day passes, another door closes. 
                  The thing is, I don't have any right to complain. At all. I've been given the tools, the skills, and the knowledge to make changes. There is nobody trying to restrict me from doing so. No society has turned their back on me. I am not deserving of pity. To see someone such as Pecola and then to see myself. It sickens me. I, who have wasted multiple opportunities, cannot even begin to compare to her. Why am I the one to live such a carefree lifestyle? Why am I the one with all the opportunities? These should have been Pecola's, not mine.  

"All the waste and beauty of the world—which is what she herself was. All of our waste which we dumped on her and which she absorbed. And all of our beauty, which was hers first and which she gave to us."

                   All of these serve as a reminder as to why I am grateful. Grateful for my friends, teachers, family, and all who truly care about me. For if I had grown up in Pecola's shoes, I could not have lived. I could not have withstood such a society. I would've broken immediately. If The Bluest Eye has taught me anything, it is that I am blessed to be who I am. To live in such a place here and now, is more than I could've asked for. I am lucky. To be here, sitting in a chair typing this...To have people care about what I think and care about who I am. I have so much to be thankful for.

Analyzing Actions

               The Bluest Eye is a story unlike any others that I have read previously. It attempts to cover a wide variety of topics through story components. It's content is one that is extremely different from the typical literature that is read in classrooms. That's why I think I enjoy reading it so much; it is so very different. There's no sugarcoating anything. It's black and white truth. From the adult conversations, to violence, to extremely dark imagery, Morrison manages to pack all of this into the first eighty pages. One of the parts that first stood out was the purchasing of the sofa. The way that Morrison describes the furniture and it's problems seems odd at first, until examined further. Only then is it clear that sofa, split across the back, depicts a slave. Only then is it clear that that sofa, which "[Nobody] could take joy in owning it", is really about the African American in society. It's these moments of reflection and seeking Morrison's purpose that makes this story so unique. Another aspect of the story that's so interesting are the characters. Each character feel so genuine. Perhaps that is because their personalities are demonstrated by both actions and words, which can spark large contrasts similar to people in real life. Take Maureen Peal for example, she tends to know a lot about a bunch of different things, but not in its entirety. She knows about law suits for example, but not what they really are. She also thinks she knows why women have periods, but doesn't completely know. This once again reflects this contrast between innocence and reality. Children tend to be seen as extremely innocent, but this isn't the truth. Children know a lot about what's really going on, even if they don't understand completely. That's why I find The Bluest Eye so very interesting. It manages to explain so very much, while attempting to explain so very little.